Laura Haley-McNeil

7/30/17, Does Romance Matter?

Hello, Everyone!

Because I write romance, I’m of the opinion that everyone believes that there is a special person in their life. They may not have met that person yet, but that person is there.

I had always thought that God had someone special for me, but once I mentioned this to one of the pastors at a church I attended. He said he didn’t believe that. I was stunned. How could a pastor not believe that? My mind immediately shut down and most of what he said after that I blocked. I couldn’t believe that God hadn’t picked someone special for me. He loved me. He wanted all things good for me. Why wouldn’t he go to the trouble of picking a wonderful husband for me? I had already imagined what my husband looked like, where he was from, his annual income, his career. Didn’t God give me the desires of my heart? The pastor spoke to me for a while and some of what he said did get past the wall I had built was that what if God had picked someone just for me and that person had married someone else? Or what if something happened to that person, for example, he died, where would that leave me? Those examples the pastor gave me made sense, but in my heart I knew God loved me so much that he had someone special waiting for me at the opportune time.

I have several friends who aren’t married, have never been married, and seem quite happy with their lives. One friend is in her late forties and lives with her fiancé. They had planned their wedding a few years ago, but then several life altering changes took place, such as illness and deaths in the family, that they had to focus on those events and still carry on with their careers. Once when everything had settled I had asked her if they had set a wedding date? She said they had discussed it but hadn’t made any plans yet. I quit asking her about it because I didn’t want her to think I was prying. I knew she’d tell me when they’d planned something, but several years have passed and they haven’t made any plans. Neither of them wanted children, even though he has a child from a previous relationship. They both work high pressure jobs and right now living together fits in their lives. I’m a little disappointed. I’m all about weddings. I know that isn’t the seal for happily ever after but weddings are beautiful and fun and it’s so nice to see a couple beautiful and happy on their wedding day.

I have another friend who is in her mid-fifties and though she has had a few boyfriends, she has never been engaged. She has focused on her career. Her mother is elderly and because she is the single member of the family, she cares for her mother. Even at her age, she still wants to meet someone and she would still love to be married. My heart breaks for her because she is such a lovely person, but nothing has clicked between her and a life partner.

I guess that’s why I write romance. Even though, the couples in my book don’t always marry in the book, they will marry. I have plans to write about the weddings for each my characters. I love weddings and I love romance. My characters have to have both.

And if you’re wondering if I met the person God has for me? I believe I have, but the pastor was right. He did marry someone else. We never met while he was married. And did my husband fulfill the desires of my heart with looks and bank account and career? No, but he did meet one criteria – he’s tall. As for the person I married, he exceeded my dreams. I truly believe God had someone for me. He is the perfect person for me, though when I made the list of requirements I wanted in a husband, I didn’t list the characteristics that my husband has. God knew what I needed and what I needed I found in my husband.

And if you’re wondering when you’ll meet the one person meant for you, I pray you will meet that person and I wish you all the happiness in your life with your life partner. May God richly bless you!